fuckboyaham:

rodmazo:

fuckboyaham:

So once my friend and I had a sleepover and we got really drunk and stayed up till like 4 am so in the morning, my parents made us breakfast and I am exhausted, kinda hungover, and potentially still a little drunk and like I’m well aware of my condition so I’m thinking “ok gotta play it cool, can’t let my parents suspect a thing. Stay cool, act natural,” and we’re eating breakfast and my parents are talking about that old scooter I used to have when I was a kid and they were like “you used to be so good at riding that scooter” and I was thinking “alright respond to that as naturally as possible” so I said in the most stoner-like voice possible, “yea man I used to scoot so fuckin good…” and like my parents don’t allow swearing in the house and like I never swear in front of them do their jaws just drop and my friend is right next to me laughing her ass off and I’m too hungover to figure out what I ever did wrong and that’s how I ended up having to pay my dad 20$ worth of swear money for saying “scoot so fuckin good”

Jesus fucking Christ, how old were you?

When I was pro at the scooter? Like 8? When I had to pay swear money? 17 😩